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I Will
Remember You
©
Victims of Abortion, 2008.
The recent highly publicized abortion of a 32-week baby because of
fetal abnormality, have again brought to our attention the reality
that abortion is strongly entrenched within our society and I
shudder at the lifelong trauma that will result from that decision.
Abortion trauma is unique because it can manifest in various ways
and poses a serious threat to the mental health of the individuals
involved. Abortion trauma can manifest as abortion grief, abortion
sadness or more insidiously Post Abortion Syndrome. Of the three, I
believe that Post Abortion Syndrome is the most serious and
devastating because it may take many years before it is even
recognised as the source of the trauma.
Post Abortion Syndrome profoundly affects all who decide to abort
and whilst studies appear to show that up to 87% of those who
experience an abortion are in some degree affected, it is my
contention that 100% will be affected. Post Abortion Syndrome is a
long term, slow developing and multi symptom. It is especially
insidious because of its “slow developing” character and therefore
it may be years before the source of the pain is identified. Having
left the abortion unprocessed as a “death” experience results in
unconscious attempts by the psyche to deal with it. To conclude
satisfactorily what was started. This of course utilizes large
amounts of energy leading to health problems of the mental or
physical type.
How does the unconscious attempt to resolve the dissonance? By
flashbacks, reliving the abortion day or actual time leading to the
procedure. Nightmares. Mood changes, uncontrollable weeping,
depression, hostility towards males or alternatively promiscuity,
obsessive behaviour towards another child or avoidance of children
especially infants, loss of any sense of joy of life, severe post
natal depression, eating disorders, substance abuse, relationship
difficulties, suicide and the list continues.
Time does not ameliorate the condition. Indeed with Post Abortion
Syndrome time appears to increase and intensify the symptoms.
Intervention is often sought after years of maladaptive behaviour
and much psychological suffering and of course this makes the
journey back to wholeness a most difficult journey. The healing of
post abortion trauma is difficult because always there is the
knowledge that “intent” was involved. It is the “intent,” the guilt
of one’s responsibility for the death of one’s own vulnerable infant
(this is how it is described in later years) that prevents a healing
from occurring.
Post Abortion trauma is made more insidious because the decision is
both time specific and irreversible. The decision made is usually
made in haste because of what appears to be limited time and
prevailing difficulties. However, these prevailing difficulties need
not, and probably will not be present some time in the future. The
decision made during a crisis moment, especially a decision about
life and death needs to be understood as irreversible and needs to
be understood in the present context and future context. The present
context is infused with difficulties and these difficulties need to
be seen for what they are, that is, time specific and transient,
whilst the termination of a pregnancy is permanent.
Whilst it is understood that an unplanned pregnancy is usually a
crisis pregnancy, it must also be understood that it is a conception
and a pregnancy all the same, with all the emotional turmoil of any
pregnancy. Hormonal changes ensure that the individual is buffeted
with all sorts of emotions. This of course leads to the idea that
“informed consent” can be given to justify an abortion. Indeed it is
believed that as long as details of possible dangers are explained
to the woman (and male if he is present) then an abortion can be
carried out because it is assumed that she has understood and agreed
with all that was said. This is not so because during a crisis time
and under a crisis situation an individual is not capable of
understanding clearly the possible ramifications of an action.
Indeed all that is possible during a crisis time is automatic
response. As far as I am concerned the issue of informed consent
(given by the pregnant woman) cannot be valid because her
psychological state during that crisis time impedes her absorption
of the full gamut of possibilities and certainly does prevent her
from being able to give informed consent. Any consent given is also
time and context specific. A woman who this time sees an 8-10 week
foetus as simply “tissue” because it is a crisis pregnancy, will see
her future foetus of the same gestation as a “baby” because this
time it is not a crisis pregnancy but a much wanted pregnancy. A
decision to abort made under crisis condition has the potential to
cause enormous pain in the future.
Abortion trauma, to varying degrees will be experienced by nearly
every person who aborts however there are some individuals who are
more at risk. Amongst those who are in the higher risk categories
are those who abort for medical or genetic indications. Studies
clearly show that women who abort for medical or genetic reasons are
at higher risk of prolonged psychiatric treatment or hospitalization
in the 12 months after the abortion. There are indeed numerous
studies, which clearly indicate that abortion for fetal abnormality
leads to severe long-term psychological reaction. It is important to
understand why the adverse reaction. After counselling many women
and some males it is my contention that abortion grief occurs
because it was understood that what was aborted was indeed a child
rather than the proffered “tissue.” Further abortion for fetal
abnormality the child is usually of advanced gestation, usually a
“wanted” child and bonding has occurred. Further, there is the
reality that, the “perfect” child was not “perfect” and therefore
the “perfect future” was also no longer “perfect” and now
impossible. The reality of the child’s abnormality has also to be
digested and dealt with and there is also the sense that an
“imperfection” has been discovered in the family and this needs also
to be assimilated. Abortion for fetal abnormality will not remove a
problem, and hope that in due course there will be a recovery,
because it is my experience that abortion for fetal abnormality
leaves in its wake a lifelong anguish and emptiness of heart. Indeed
a characteristic of abortion is deep sense of emptiness.
There is much work, which needs to be done in the area of post
abortion trauma. We are only at the very beginning. However, it is
important to understand that it does exist. Irrespective of strident
voices attempting negate the sufferings following an abortion it is
important to know that they are real –and require much gentle
handling and much Mercy from God in order to be able move from
despair to forgiveness and healing..
For more information or post abortion grief counselling contact Anne
on 0408 175 033 or 98877669. PO Box 6094, Vermont Sth, 3133.
Victoria. Australia. Victims of Abortion is concerned with
individuals who have had an adverse abortion experience and who need
to grieve over their lost child.
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